Little Ladies vs. Zoo Animals: Making a Reward Jar!

We are in desperate need of an attitude adjustment in our house.

My girls have been pretty ornery lately.  

Tantrums, drama, fighting, sassy mouths, arguing, refusal to do as they are asked, eye-rolling.  

Yes, eye-rolling! Complete with huffing and puffing sounds!! What on Earth?! They are two and three - isn't the eye-rolling supposed to come later in life?  Like in the pre-teen years?  And for the record, nothing gets a mother's blood boiling like having a kid roll there eyes at you.  No wonder my mom hated that! LOL Sorry, mom!

I am trying to raise young women with grace and class, good manners, and empathy for others. I want them to tell the truth, know the difference between right and wrong, and be grateful for each other and the things that they have.  I am trying to raise ladies of outstanding character.... But sometimes I wonder if I am raising wild animals instead.  Actually, I think that sometimes a herd of wildebeests or a pack of wolves has more manners than these two cute little girls do.  It is like living in a zoo.

We already have set rules in our house.  I remember years ago before we had kids, I heard a friend of my husband's five sisters discussing discipline for their kids.  One of them (who has a bunch of kids herself) said that they had a certain set of House Rules that she had come up with to make their lives run more smoothly. These rules were so basic - vague enough to encompass all situations, and easy enough for even little ones to understand - but they really reflected the types of values that I want to send my own children out into the world with.  I never forgot them.  So, I did what any smart mom would do and I shamelessly stole them. LOL They have been slightly adjusted over time to suit our needs, but they are fundamentally the same.

 And here they are:

HOUSE RULES

Use kind words and a kind tone.

Tell the truth.

Be respectful to people and things.

Keep hands, feet and teeth to yourself.  

Listen to Mom and Dad.

Clean up after yourself.

Be helpful.  

Choose to have a great day.

There.  Now you can steal them from me. :-)

As for getting my girls to follow these rules, we have had periods of success and periods that were not quite so successful.  

At first, just reminders and talking about the rules with Hayden (and by proxy Carly because she still was/is little) was enough.  They were new and fun and she liked having something to "remind" us about.

Then, the novelty wore off and it was back to the drawing board.

We moved on to a sticker chart - follow the rules all day, get a sticker; not so great behavior, try again tomorrow.  Certain number of stickers, get a prize. This worked okay. Hayden will do anything for the eventual promise of buying some new Legos, so she would work for her sticker at the end of the day - but there was one catch.  No one on earth - even you or me - can be good ALL THE TIME. On the days that we had a hard time and had to tell Hayden that she would have to try again tomorrow, it was just devastating for her.  It ruined many a bedtime because she just wanted a sticker.  It was just too black and white for her little brain and I think that the message was getting lost.

The truth is that even on the days that a kid has a hard time, they surely had at least one shining moment that day.  Even if they spent the day in and out of timeout, even if they broke every single rule and you are ready to drop them off at a church or a firehouse, I am willing to bet that they said please and/or thank you without a reminder at least one time that day, or maybe helped pick up toys or cleaned up their lunch dishes or some other little thing that warranted recognition.  

I love the positive reinforcement of the sticker chart, but I feel like it just wasn't clear enough.  I need to try harder to focus in on and acknowledge all of the good things that my girls are doing - and focus a little less on the negative - even on the hard days. If the good behavior is the focus and the bad is simply met with a time-out and then it's over, the hope is that we (the parents) will be rewarded with more good behavior.  Perhaps if they are more aware of the small things they can do to follow the rules, our days can be a little less of a zoo - and they will feel more inclined to do the things that earn a reward.  And I will feel less inclined to actually drop them off at the zoo.

So, with that in mind, I have come up with a new plan of attack.  

Today we made some Reward Jars.

Here's what I used - you might even have most of these things (or something else that will work) laying around the house, but if you don't they are cheap and reusable.

 -1 clear jar per kid (I am using pint mason jars, but you can use a pickle jar or a plastic cup or bottle, or whatever you have. I like the clear ones because they have a constant visual reminder of how close they are to their goal)

-A whole bunch of plastic beads (I have also seen jars like this where people used Pom-poms or marbles - any small manageable thing that you have a bunch of will work.  I wanted something that my girls would think was fun and these beads were a variety pack that happens to have animals and sparkly beads and other things they thought were fun.  I also wanted something that would fill the jars up at a reasonable rate of speed - as in not taking a year to fill up if I was handing out a lot of beads, but not being filled up in one afternoon. Also, as a bonus, they were only $5 for a big old tub.)

-Stickers for decorating (Totally optional, but it helped my girls get excited to earn some beads for their jars, and the time they spent decorating was a great time to talk about how our new plan was going to work.)

So the plan is that the girls can earn beads by following the House Rules and doing it with a happy heart.  There is no cap on how many beads that they can earn in one day, or even in one sitting, Just every time that Daddy or I feel that they are really being the great kids that we know they are - saying kind things to each other, using good manners, cleaning up a mess without having any drama, being helpful, going to nap without a tantrum, etc. - they get to add a bead to their jar.  When the jar is full to the top, they will get a very special treat.  Knowing my Lego-crazy Hoot and the fact that she has a baby sis who wants to be just like her, they will want Legos of course! :-)

So far, so good.  Even Carly (age 2) is reminding her sister that if they do good things, they will get to pick a bead.  They went to nap today with ZERO drama, woke up happy, put on shoes and are now pretending that they are Trick-or-Treating in the backyard as I type.  They have earned several beads each and are very proud.  I like that it feels like I am trying to catch them being kind and having good behavior and not dreading the end of the day when I have to tell them that they don't get a sticker because they had to sit in time out earlier in the day.  I love that we are all focusing on the positive. 

It is so simple!!  BE GOOD = GET SOMETHING GOOD!  I will keep you updated on how this plan works for us.  Hopefully we are on the right track to acting more like Classy Little Ladies and less like a herd to unruly wildebeests - because Mama can't take it anymore! LOL

What kinds of things do you do in your home to help your kids learn good behavior?  How do you adjust your "program" as they get older?  What kind of incentives do your kids work for? Leave me a comment! :-)

Progress

Carly is around six weeks away from making her entrance into this family, and I am ready.  I will be 34 weeks tomorrow - hardly seems possible... 
But alas, I am fat and  uncomfortable, and mostly I am just ready to meet this new girl I have been waiting so patiently for.  In a lot of ways this has gone by so fast (much faster than with Hootie it seems) but I can't wait to get to know this tiny person who I have growing in my big, round, heavy belly.

I have been hard at work on her room, and here are some pictures to prove it.

All of her toys are waiting for her.

In the meantime, her sister is making good use of them while we wait.  (I am a little concerned because she keeps calling this a potty. I hope she doesn't act on that one.LOL) 

 And I just spent the last two days painting this mural over the bookshelf, and I feel like it turned out pretty cute, if I do say so myself! :)

Just a few things left - Garrett is repainting a dresser, we need to go buy some bedding, a few little touches.  Other than that here we wait.

Hayden wants to know, "When are you coming, Carly Kate?"  :)

Nothing in life is "mess free"....

My child loves a good art project.

She comes by that honestly – after all, I do too.  I am sure that I have mentioned this before, but as a little girl myself, my dad and I had the following conversation almost daily:

Me: (sitting in a heap of glue and markers and scissors and scraps of paper) Hi Dad.

Dad: (coming in from outside) Hi. What are you making – besides a mess?

We love a good mess project around here – it is in our blood.

I don’t really mind Hoots making a mess sometimes.  In fact, I think that making a mess is an important thing to let kids do. I like finger painting and play dough as much as the next mom, probably more.  But sometimes, I am looking for something, shall we say, lower maintenance.   Sometimes, chasing a marker wielding toddler around the house (my girl LOVES markers), shouting, “ONLY ON THE PAPER!” isn’t sounding that appealing to me.

So I thought I would try this out:

How could i resist those big, gorgeous words "MESS FREE" shouting out at me, reaching the very soul of any mother who has scrubbed paint from everywhere you can imagine?  Not me, that is for sure.  So we rushed home to give it a try.

Aaaaaannnnnddd..........  well, I have mixed feelings about it. 

A good thing: It is clear, and really only shows up on the special paper, so there is no paint on the furniture, walls, or dogs.

A bad thing: It is clear, so it was almost like she had a hard time telling it was on her finger and that she should wipe it on the paper now.  She would just get a glop on her finger and  get mad that I wouldn’t let her stick her finger back in there for more.  Then, because it is a weird jelly-like consistency, it was so sticky and weird as it dried on her hands - so, I feel like while there was no color on my stuff, the mess-free mess was still there.  Also, it was $8, which seems like a lot of dough to shell out for so little paint.  Okay, that was more than one bad thing.  LOL

We did end up with a masterpiece:

(Sorry for the crappy photo.  Garrett ran off with my camera this morning and I took this with my phone.  Yuck.)

I will say that we are going back for some Color Wonder Markers for my budding artist to try out.  I think that the markers might be a better fit for Little Miss Independent (she hates me giving any kind of help or suggestions during  her creative time!) and that way I can stop screaming, “ONLY ON THE PAPER!” for a little while.

Super Hoot to the rescue!

Ever since Hoot was a few days old, when she gets out of the tub, I wrap her all up and say, “Time to get cozy!” while I wrap her up as tight as I can, her head and face all covered up as I dry her. Then she walks around with her towel, being “cozy”… 

And for some reason, this is HI.LAR.I.OUS to her.  She giggles little a little maniac.

Lately she has been asking me for a towel at odd times, or bringing me a blanket and saying “co-co” to be wrapped up in it.  So I got the idea that she needed a blanket that was like a cape…  but it had to be safe (I don’t want her to get hung up on something with something around her neck) and easy for her to figure out.  A Baby Cape.

So we picked some fabric at WalMart and I did some planning. 

I used the idea of a hooded bath towel and after some research on how you would make one of those, I winged it.  It is double weight flannel. So it is extra cozy, or “co-co” as Hoot would say.  (The word “co-co” can get a little tricky, because it means blanket and cozy – but it sounds a lot like cracker, Cookie Monster, and her sound for water…  decoding Toddler-ese = like learning Latin or Esperanto or some other dead language… very tricky.)

The picking of the fabric was a funny thing.  You may be thinking that this looks an awful lot like boy’s fabric pick – that is because I did not pick it.  I liked some cute pink with giraffes, some Care-Bears, some froggies, some lavender with puppies on it.  But Hayden liked THIS ONE.  Primary colored Sesame Street.  And every one I showed her she swatted at and said, “Bye-bye!” to – and then pointed at THIS ONE. 

So, to please my willful child, we have a primary colored Sesame Street baby cape… 

And she likes it so much, she fell asleep – wrapped up all cozy. 

Man, I love this girl.  LOL

I think it turned out pretty good, especially considering I was making it up as I went along.  I can already see a few things that I would do differently, mainly with the hood, but I like it.  And of course, what Super Baby would be complete without a letter on the back?

 Super Hoot to save the day!  Her super power? 

That’s easy – it’s making me smile.  J

Playdough Time!

As Hoot gets older, we are always on the look out for a craft or project or activity that she can try, and I try to have one little "surprise" each day for her.  She loves projects - she is her mama's girl, afterall.

Sometimes this is stickers, coloring with markers or crayons, painting, or even just getting out a toy we haven't played with in a while. ( I am crazy about the toys - we have a toy rotation because I can't stand having ALL of the toys out and seeing her playing with NONE of them.  But that is a different blog post. LOL)

As you know, in my previous life, it was in my job description to come up with such projects for kids - mostly kids Hootie's age or around there.  That doesn't make it easier to always have a little something up my sleeve, but I get by with a little help from my friends. ;)

In this case, it is my friend, Timbra. I went to High School with her and I have many fond  memories of good times in theater class.  Now, she is a mom of two little ones herself (who just happen to be about the same age difference as my little ones will be) and she is always coming up with something fun for her crafty little brood to do.  Check out her blog, La-de-la-de-da.  Not only does she have great ideas, but her kids are really funny and her stories make me laugh.  :)

At any rate, last night on Facebook, Timbra mentioned making some Playdough - and a little light bulb went off in my head.  Hayden is old enough for that.  So that was our project today - Hoot's first Playdough.

After a minor disagreement about whether or not it was to be eaten, we were off to the races.

 Piper even popped over to make sure we weren't eating anything delicious without her.  Hayden promptly yelled, "Get!! Get!!" every time Piper made a noise or moved a little.  She  didn't want Piper to steal her dough.  Poor Piper. (Isn't she the most adorable and pathetic little creature? I think so.)

 This actually kept her busy for a good half hour or more, allowing me to cook dinner without a screaming banshee attached to my leg.  So Playdough gets two thumbs up from me.  And I think she liked it, too.

Bonus: Hoot even cleaned up her own mess.  (btw, I think that these are the same kind of Playdough toys I had when I was a kid.  <3!!)

 And what mom isn't on board with that!?  :)

Here is our Playdough recipe if you don't have one of your own yet:

2 cups flour
2 cups warm water
1 cup salt
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
1 Tablespoon cream of tartar (do you use cream of tartar for anything besides making Playdough?)

1 packet of unsweetened Kool-Aid, your choice of color/flavor

Mix all of the ingredients together in a saucepan, and stir over low heat. The dough will begin to thicken until it resembles mashed potatoes.  Well, blue mashed potatoes in our case... LOL This step smalls good too  becasue of the Kool-Aid. :)

When the dough pulls away from the sides and clumps in the center, as shown below, remove the pan from heat and allow the dough to cool enough to handle.

IMPORTANT NOTE: if your playdough is still sticky, you simply need to cook it longer!
Keep stirring and cooking until the dough is dry and feels like playdough.

See, easy-peezy! Enjoy! :)

Second Re-fashioned Skirt and More Pictures of a STILL Uncooperative Model

Okay - Tshirt Re-fashion #2 came from here - and this one was pretty easy and fun to make.  and i did it in black (because it is what I had laying around) and it is so cute.  It looks like a little dance skirt with a yoga style waist and flippy fabric.

And, best of all, for your amusement, my model was not any less silly and crazy than she was earlier today.  I have a feeling that America's Next Top Model doesn't live here.

Oh geez...  what a girl.  LOL

Happy Valentine's Day!

We have had a great Valentine's Day today, Hootie and I.

We got an early start because we had big plans.  We ran errands, went to the store, and came home to make a Valentine's dinner for Daddy and Gramma, Grampa, and Uncle Owen.

We had Valentine's to make:

We had to salt eggplant and let it sit for Eggplant Parmasan:

I went all out and made my sauce from scratch this time.  No bottled stuff on Love Day!



We did a little decorating.

And my little helper was there by my side the whole time, dirty face and crazy ponytails and all.

It was taking a long time, so she caught up on some reading.

And she had to love on her Valentine, Piper.  (Piper doesn't love the loving as much as Hayden thinks she  does.)

A truck-load of time and work later, here is our delicious dinner - Eggplant Parmasan.  (I LOVE this stuff!!)

And later, there is a special treat for everyone - Chocolate Toffee Saltines.  (click here to make some- they are TO DIE FOR.....  and surprisingly easy to  make!) 





Happy Valentine's Day!  I hope you all found a little love in your life today. :)  I know I did.