Monday, June 20, 2011

The Curious Tale Of The Potty Seat Meltdown

Don’t you just love when you are in Wal-Mart and you hear someone’s kid, freaking out, having a screaming fit? 
Today that was my kid.
Thankfully, Hootie’s fits always seem worse to her embarrassed mother than they are to the people around us because she is generally a pretty easy going kid, but in the moment it feels like all eyes are on you and you are putting out a wildfire with a garden hose.
In honesty, today’s fit was a little bit funny to me.
We were there to buy diapers (you will see the irony in this in a minute LOL) and we headed for the back of the store.  You know they do that on purpose, right?  They put the diapers at the back of the store so thatif,  in a moment of insanity, you try to run into Wal-Mart just a little too close to naptime, you will have to parade a tired and cranky (really cranky) toddler through the entire store. 
We got to the back wall where the diapers are relatively unscathed, although I could see by the look in my daughter’s eyes that we were headed toward nuclear meltdown and it was going to happen fast.
I paused (big mistake) in the baby section to look at those cups that you use to wash a kids hair, wondering if I should buy one, when Hayden spotted the catalyst for her meltdown – an Elmo potty seat, similar to this one.

She reached over and grabbed the seat off the shelf, saying, “Oooo – Elmo! BiBir! Nur-nee! Cookie!” and I replied, “Oh, that is a great potty seat.  Someday soon we will buy one just like that if you want that kind, but not today.” And I went to put the potty seat back on the shelf.
And Hayden began to WAIL.
I looked around, frantic to see if anyone was watching us.  A couple of other moms with small kids lurked around the area, and while it was not many and they probably had more sympathy than judgment running through their minds, I wish that they would disappear.  Or maybe that I could.
At this point, I was prying the potty seat from my daughter’s hands.  She was tearfully exclaiming, “No no, Mama! Elmo!”
“Sister, it is a potty.  You are not potty trained.  We came here to buy diapers. Say bye-bye to the Elmo potty,” I said, trying to say calm.  The crying continued.  We walked away.  I picked up our diapers, and in an attempt to distract her from her broken heart, I handed off to Hootie.
“Look at the baby on the package, Haydie.  See the baby? How cute!!” I said, pointing  at the baby on the diaper package.  She looked, grabbed the diapers from my hand and threw them into the cart. 
The pouting commenced.
Sure, she was quieter now, thank God, but still not very tearful and clearly upset over her new obsession – the Elmo potty seat. We started to walk away, Hayden still crying, “Potty!! No no, Mama! Elmo potty! BiBir! Nur-nee! Potty!”
Now, in retrospect, I guess that I should have just bought the stupid potty.  I am not sure she is actually ready to USE a potty, but she has surprised me before.  The other lurking mothers probably thought, “Good lord, woman! Buy that child a potty!” because she of course chose this as the perfect time to (through her tears) speak clearly and appear much older than 17 months - and here I am arguing with her that she is too little for a potty, that we are getting diapers.
Like I said, I am trying to decide if I should have given in and bought the damn thing.  And, like I said, I am not convinced that she is ready to actually use a potty seat, but this is not the first time that she has shown some interest in the potty situation.  She loves to watch us go potty, and loves to point at the toilet and say say, “Mama! Pew!” (charming, I know) and she when she poops in her diaper (or even toots) she has started crying, “Pew! Pew! Pew!” until we change her. 
She even gave her Dada a specialy gift yesterday morning (Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! LOL) as he was making her some eggs – she ran over to him, saying, “Pew! Dada! Pew!” and when he turned around, he discovered that she had gotten a head start on the changing her own crappy diaper, which she had removed herself and was handing to him, poop and all.  (Again, charming, I know.)
At any rate, we are headed toward potty training someday one way or another.  I am thinking that it should wait until after CarlyBug is born, but we will see how it plays out.  For now, I will log in my memory bank that Hayden would like an Elmo potty seat and to avoid that aisle until we are ready to get one – and most of all, I will log into my memory bank that from now until forever, it is wise to avoid Wal-Mart like the plague too close to naptime!!

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