Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Mom Games

My cousin Erin has a little boy who is exactly 11 weeks older than Bugster.  She is a teacher, but when the school year is over, she is starting a new chapter in her life - she is joining the ranks of the Stay-at-Home-Moms.

She is a little nervous about this new beginning.  We have had many conversations about "learning to be a SAHM" - Erin is a woman who loves structure and she is worried that she will not know what to do when she heads into the unknown. 

This week is her spring break, and it is like a trial run for her.  We have been texting back and forth today about different things and a little bit ago, we had this conversation.

Erin:  I'm playing a game right now I thought you might appreciate. Is this what SAHMs do? It's called "WTF is In These Frozen Containers?"  I am trying to clean out the freezer and I am having a hell of a time figuring out what are in these! Argh!

Me: Ugh.  That is a game that I haven't played in a while but probably should.  It is usually followed by a game of "Why the Hell Did I Save This In the First Place?"

Erin: Yes, that happened a few times during that game.

This got me thinking of some other "games" stay-at-home-moms play.

Here is a few I came up with:

"Name That Stain" This is pretty self-explanatory, really.  But whether it is something weird on the carpet, on a onesie, or on my comforter, I play this one every single day.

"Who the Eff Did THIS?!"  This is a game I play a lot too - like when I walk into the bathroom and see that someone has unrolled the entire roll of toilet paper. Was it Hoot? Bug? Tilly?  Who knows.  Other times, the answer is glaringly obvious, such as, "Who the eff smeared baby lotion all over the windows in the dining room?" (Hayden) or "Who the eff crapped in the entryway?" (usually Tilly) or "Who the eff emptied a bowl of popcorn all over the living room carpet?!" (Hayden again) or "Who the eff shredded a magazine all over the place?" (this one has a Bonus Round where you check the mouths of the puppy and the baby to determine which one did it. LOL)

"Who's Poop is This?"  This game is similar to the one above, but it specifically involves finding poop. LOL

"Pennies to Payday"  The object of this game is figuring out how to feed a family of four and diaper the one that isn't potty trained and whatever else pops up (like a desperate need for a bottle of wine at the end of an especially long day) during the last few days before we get paid - with something like $12.50 in your bank account.  :-/

"Supermarket Sweep: Moms Edition"  Thirty minutes to nap time - will she be able to run into the store, get everything she needs, spend less than the allotted $12.50 mentioned above, and not kill her cart full of kids - ALL BEFORE THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT HITS THE FAN??  Stay tuned!

"What's That Smell?" I bet you can figure this one out all on your own.

"Whisper in a War Zone" In this game, everyone around you makes as much noise as they can while you try to listen to something important.  On the phone? Something you want to see on TV?  Try to decipher what is being said - while the baby cries, the toddler runs around screaming or has a tantrum, the dogs bark, your husband tries to tell you about his day or ask you ten thousand questions, and the house basically falls in around you.  All calm returns as soon as you hang up the phone or the thing you wanted to see on TV is over.

"Family Feud: The Baby and Toddler Edition"  Unlike the traditional Family Feud, this one is a game of endurance.  Basically, you get in the car with one or more crying children and your spouse, usually for a long distance trip.  As the children scream, your sanity begins to waver.  Knowing you cannot be angry with a small child for crying in the car, you will soon be angry at your spouse.  Soon, you will feel like either murdering one of the other passengers in the car or hurling your own body from the door of the moving vehicle.  If everyone arrives at the destination alive AND you are still married, you win.  (This happened to us once in a bad way when Hayden was about 4 months old.  In Hawaii.  It was terrible.  We still look back at that trip and shudder.  Survey Says?  This game is not for sissies.)

These are just a few of the things that keep me "entertained" daily.  I am sure that I missed some.  And I am sure as kids get older, the games change.  Enlighten me - what are someof your favorite Mom Games??

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