Friday, August 23, 2013

growing pains

My Hoot Owl is growing up.


Her current loves:
  • Legos.  This child LOVES Legos. Especially Lego Friends. It is an obsession.  If she isn't playing with her extensive Lego collection, she is talking about Legos or hoarding a little mini fig in her pocket or watching these painful interesting YouTube videos of grown men reviewing Lego Friends sets or planning what set she will ask Santa to bring or which one she wants for her birthday. 

    She is really quite good at following the directions in the sets as well as putting together her own creations, and I really enjoy spending time playing with her.  (We also spend a lot of time protecting the creations from Carly. One of HER loves these days is smashing Hoot's Legos.)


  • Being outside. She is an outdoorsy girl and is becoming quite the daredevil.  She loves riding bikes, digging, gardening, swimming, getting dirty.  My little nature girl.


  • Playing with her sissy. They fight pretty much non-stop, but they couldn't live without each other, either.  If you ask who her best friend is, she doesn't miss a beat before she answers, "Carly!" They love to play outside, play house, read books, ride bikes.  They do everything together.  They are thick as thieves.

  • Fashion.  This kid has a style all her own - I just love it.  She poses for pictures like a boss, too. LOL
She really is a big girl now. 

In a week and a half, she starts preschool. 

She is so excited, every person within earshot for the last two weeks has heard, "Hey! Did you hear my BIG news? I am old enough to go to SCHOOL!"

I feel like this was just yesterday.

(Just look at those eyes!! And that one little tooth!! ::dies::)

Of course, it was not. She is not a baby anymore.

But she is MY baby.

I am happy for her. 


I am.  Honest.


Okay, I will admit it. I might be happy for her, but I am sad for me. 

This will be the first time (aside from her going with my parents) that we have truly been away from each other.  It is the first time that I have ever trusted someone else to care for her.  It is the first time that I have allowed anything from "the outside" in. 

Letting the outside in is scary.  Other kids, other adults, other homes, other lifestyles and philosophies on life. 

We have never had a babysitter (except my parents) we have never left them alone with other adults.  I am careful about what they watch on TV and what they see us doing and saying to them and around them. 

That is something about the SAHM gig that I never really put my finger on until now.  When you are in the trenches with a baby (or two) you are so hyper-focused on the trials of babyhood that you sort of lose sight of the fact that one day, they will be big.  You are in total control of their environment here at home. I lost sight of the fact that someday they would leave the nest - only twice a week for a couple of hours at first, but it is all leading up to more.  And in that gradual leaving of the nest, you are no longer in control of, well, anything.

It is a very bitter sweet reminder that no matter how much I try, I can't keep either of them small.  I can't shelter them forever, no matter how much I want to.

I know Hoot is growing up, but I want her to stay a kid for as long as she can.  Adulthood is long.  Really really long.  And there are a lot of jerks in the world. (And they had all better stay away from my sweet girl or I will go Mama Bear on them.  Just saying.  But I digress...)

I love this kind, bossy, thoughtful, Lego-obsessed, blue-eyed little smarty pants more than I could ever explain to you. 

Please, sweet Hoot, don't ever let "the outside" get to you - stay sweet and fun, stay YOU.

Know that for every one thing in the world that I want to shelter you from, there are a hundred things that I want you to see and experience.  It is just hard on a mother to watch her babies grow and change, but it is a bittersweet fact of life.  Preschool is just the beginning of the world opening up it's doors just for you.

Just remember this, sweet girl - no matter how much I cry when I drive away from your preschool in a little more than a week, no matter how sad I am for me, I am truly simultaneously overjoyed for you.  You can do anything, be anything, have anything - and this is the beginning. 

And most of all, child of mine, never forget that no matter if your adventure of the moment is a few hours a week at preschool or something much bigger or further away, the nest is always here, and your mama is SO proud of her wise (grown-up) little Owl.


  1. Your blog always makes me tear up...
    First of all. I love how the lego set says "Ages 7-12," and Hayden is all like "Hey, look what I made!!!!"

    Also- you are so right about "the outside" There are so many terrifying external influences. But have faith in yourself my friend, as a mother and the ultimate influence on your beautiful girls. they are smart, and strong and instinctive, and will always know right from wrong because of you.

    I am so excited to share in your journeys as Princess Hayden heads off to Silver Star. :) Miss you all.