Monday, January 31, 2011

A Desperate Plea to Appleseed

Dear Appleseed,
Sweetie, it is your Mommy.  I know that you are very busy in there, but we need to talk. 
According to What to Expect, you are smack in the middle of another big week, and loving your new status upgrade from “embryo” to “fetus”.  You are growing – somewhere between the size of a green olive and a prune.  You are looking more like a baby everyday.  Like I said, you are busy for being so tiny.
Let me just say this – how busy you are in there is showing out here. You are kicking my butt, little one.  I am exhausted.  I feel like I could sleep until September 1st, but of course that can’t happen. 
Eating and enjoying it is a no go these days – come on, kid.  Give me a break.  You and I have gotta eat, and I don’t want to feel like crap.  There must be something you will let me enjoy.  Anything?  Daddy is on the hunt for anything to sustain the two of us.  I am just forcing in down.  Seriously – If you think of something, let me know…  Your sister liked birthday cake with extra icing, macaroni and cheese with green chili salsa, PB&J…  All of which has me gagging as I type.
I just want to lay on the couch in a heap of exhaustion and self-pity until I can see your darling face and forget this part forever.  Your business in there has led to a total lack of business out here on my part.  Your Daddy is gonna kill me for showing this to the world, but here are some examples of what a slacker you are making me:
Hayden’s toys are everywhere.

Books, too.

Beds are unmade and laundry is multiplying.

Dishes, too.

I have broken down and let your sister watch Yo Gabba Gabba.  I am sure that someday, you will also like Yo Gabba Gabba, but it is truly torture for adults.

I will spare you pictures of the dog hair under the dining room table and the bathrooms that need cleaning. 
As you can see, things are looking grim out here.
So, my darling child, what I am asking your for is this- can you ease up, just a tiny little bit?  I know you are busy and I love you dearly and I am so glad that you are growing strong.  I am so glad that you are small but mighty, and I understand that the exhaustion and the sickness come with the territory, but maybe just a teensy, tiny little bit of relief?  I have to get on track out here before the house falls down around me in shambles and your sister figures out that I have lost the will to fight and ties me to a chair so she can do whatever she wants.  That would be a disaster, but I am beginning to feel like it is not far from a reality.
At least give it some thought.  Please?
Love, Mama

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