Wednesday, February 9, 2011

More than "Just a Mom"

Never say that I am “just a mom.” Yes, I stay home.  Yes I have no paying “job.”  Yes, my life revolves around my husband and children.  But I am offended that anyone would consider me “just a mom.” I am so much more.
I am an expert in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis management.
I am an on-site nurse, with expertise in treating minor illnesses, contusions, and flesh wounds - including bumped heads, smashed fingers, runny noses, projectile vomiting, etc.
I am an independent self-starter, with an infinite ability to be flexible and work around the needs of others.
I am on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year – which requires me to be able to complete all tasks as soon as the need arises, usually on little-to-no sleep.
I am a repair person with experience in fixing small gadgets and toys, unclogging toilets, assembling furniture, and any other fix it jobs that may arise.
I am responsible for most custodial duties on the job, such as tidying and organizing, scrubbing surfaces, disinfecting bathrooms , windows, floors, etc. - including the less pleasant duties like washing bodily fluids from clothing, scrubbing dog vomit (or worse) from carpets, and figuring out how to remove crayon marks from walls and marker from tile floors.
I excell at driving a moving vehicle safely – even with a child screaming bloody murder in the back seat, I manage to get us where we are going without harming myself, said child, or other patrons of the road.
I am a banker- I have to devise of a way to keep all of the bellies around here full, keep bottoms diapered, hair shampooed, toilet paper rolls filled, and our home clean and comforable on a nearly non-existent budget.
I am an expert in the personal hygiene of the smaller members of the household- including bathing, manicures, pedicures, and hairstyling on a daily basis.  This also includes some less pleasant jobs like poopy diapers and the occasional head-to-toe spaghetti sauce mess, which practically requires a hose to remedy.
I am a chef with ability to create healthy, affordable meals that even the pickier people in the house can find something in.  This often leads to rejection by said picky people.  Must have thick skin and be resilient in the face of adversity in this area.
I am a recreation director, required to come up with fun and educational activities for a toddler and soon for an infant.  This includes, outdoor activities (even when it is freezing cold or boiling hot), and craft projects that usually end with a giant mess that ! am responsible to clean up after.
I work unthinkably long hours – 24 hour shifts, seven days a week.  No over time, no vacation, no holidays.  No Christmas bonus, no pay raises.
All of these tasks and roles, along with many more that are not mentioned above, are often carried out while nursing a child, heading off a temper-tantrum, while attempting to give my husband some long neglected attention, while trying to ignore the nag of morning sickness, and as stated above on little-to-no-sleep.  Soon, my job will shift and I will be required to do it all with an enormous abdomen, swollen feet, and all of the other joys of late pregnancy. 
So, please, I am more than a “just a mom”.
I am wife to my husband. I am a teacher, role model, and the biggest fan of a sweet little HootOwl.  I am the incubator and host to a growing little Appleseed.  I am the Super Woman who makes their worlds go 'round.  I am the woman who joyfully does the world’s hardest, most thankless job.  I am what makes this “company” run.  I am smart, funny, and creative – and I deserve respect and recognition as a productive member of society and a woman if integrity and character.  I am the luckiest girl on earth because I wake up every morning to the greatest “co-workers” there are – and I am the one who heard my baby’s first word, saw her first steps, and will witness all of the firsts from here on out - not some daycare worker. 
I am more than “just a mom” – I am someone’s everything.


  1. Hell yeah! And I love your statement "I am someone's everything".

  2. I just found your blog and am pouring through it. You are one cool mamma! I have a daughter the same age as yours, stay home in a city where not many moms do, and can definitely relate. You are seriously inspirational with your deep thoughts and crafts and projects and real-ness. Keep it up and thanks for sharing yourself! :)
    M from Brooklyn, NY

  3. thank you so much, marni! this comment made my day!

    when i started blogging, i told garret that i wasn't going to do it if it was going to read like a never-ending christmas letter about how perfect and amazing my life is and that i never make mistakes and that i never feel isolated and alone.

    his answer was to just be me - be honest and real and people will read it. so thank you so much for validating that! i think that it is so neat that even coming from two very different worlds (my little town is no new york!) we have so much in common. us stay at homemoms are a special breed and we gotta stick together! :)

  4. This is wonderful. My mom and I were just talking about how especially in "our work," it's so easy for moms and parents to discredit themselves, when really- if it weren't for everything they had done, their child wouldn't even be alive!!! I have so much respect for you, and lots of moms. That role should never be downplayed. <3