"Rough Girls"

My girls are rough girls.
They love to wrestle.  They love to splash.  They talk too loud.  They are always dirty.

And take a look at these knees.

Don't get me wrong - these girls love their princesses and their dresses and their hair bows.  Who doesn't?

But I never set out to raise any "wilting flower types"  -  I am aiming for girls who KNOW that they can do everything that any boy can do.  That they can be beautiful princesses and minutes later be amazing super heroes.  That while they are gorgeous, that they are also quite capable of doing everything that they can dream up.

My wish for them is that they grow into women without boundaries.   Women who try, women who fail, and women who get up and try again.  Women who are adventurous. Women who value the person that they are.  I want them to be women who know that a mistake isn't the end and that it's just a bump in the road - step back and try again.  These are two little girls who already own the world - I want them to recognize that they can do and be anything if they just go after whatever it is that is calling them.

I am raising women who know that it is fun (and perfectly acceptable) to be a "girly-girl", but who are not afraid to raise a little hell, too.

Bad Mommy

Dear Carly,

Please forgive me.

Getting you to take a nap was a nightmare today.  You screamed for an hour, bit me several times, pinched, hit, kicked, screamed some more. 

It was terrible. I lost my patience.  I yelled at you.  I told you to shut up.  "Why the hell are you crying?!" I yelled.

Your Daddy walked in just in time to hear me yelling at you.  You went straight to him and snuggled into his arms and went to sleep.  And rightfully so, because he was kind and patient and loving to both of us - even if I didn't exactly deserve it in that moment.

I feel like crap about it all.  I feel like a terrible mommy.  You are just a little girl, and things aren't always easy. 

I understand that most of the time. 

But today, I totally lost my cool.  I am ashamed that I yelled at a crying baby.  You and Daddy both probably think I'm a monster.  Daddy asked if I wanted to run to town for a minute just to get away.  I told him no.  All I really want to do now that you are asleep is hold you and cry and tell you how sorry I am that I was so mean. 

I now that being little is hard. I know that sometimes we just don't know why the hell we are crying, sometimes we just can't answer that question. 

I love you more than you can know, tiny Bug - even if my actions today didn't seem like it.  I sometimes act like I have all the answers, like sometimes I have everything together, like I'm a Super Mom.  But the truth is that sometimes I feel like a little girl myself. Sometimes, I just don't know what to do.  I am flawed, little one.  Very much so.  And sometimes, this mom gig is a bitch.  It's hard.  But,  I'm trying.  I'm trying so hard to give you only my best. Yelling at you is not the way to do that, I know.  But even when I am mad, or I yell, or I lose my patience, I still love every particle of you, Sweet Girl.  That is the kind of love that doesn't stop, even when things are hard. 

The small beauty of this big mess is that when you wake up, I can apologize and cuddle you, and we can start over.  But for now, I am going to cry a little, watch you sleep - and with any luck, I am going to forgive myself. 

Love, Mommy

A Typical (False) Spring Day in Nevada

As you may remember from previous posts, the weather here in Nevada can be quite unpredictable at any time of the year.... in the spring time, it can be downright bi-polar.  (remember this?)

Things have been no different around here this spring.

A couple of days ago it was almost hot out. My kids spent he afternoon outside in their underwear, riding their bikes and splashing in a mom-made puddle in their new rain boots.  Yes, I know that there is very little use for rain boots in the desert. My husband was "kind" enough to point that out to me when I bought them.  But how could I resist? Look how cute!!

Sometimes fashion just trumps function. 

Fast forward to today....

 It was cold, windy, snowing at times, raining, hailing, and generally having a temper tantrum.  And sadly, none of that produced enough moisture to warrant the boots!!  It is sort of discouraging - like it starts to feel like it will never warm up enough to feel "springy" before one day we wake up and it is summer and it is 110 degrees and there is no turning back until winter.  (remember this?)

Anyway, we hung around in our pajamas all day, watching movies, eating popcorn, and playing with princesses and Strawberry Shortcake girls until we were blue in the face.  And still it was cold out.

So we decided to make a springy dinner to make us feel better about the whole mess.

We were going to have chicken until I saw Mario making Asparagus Milanese on TV.  I had a ton of asparagus laying around and this seemed like just the thing to do with it.

Let me tell you something - this is GOOD.  Few things in life are as simple or as good as a runny egg yolk and some roasted asparagus.  

I mean it.  

Make this tomorrow.  

Heck, I might eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday for the rest of my life. 

For reals.

In the same "springy" vein, The girls and I decided that we would surprise Daddy with some Strawberry Shortcakes.

 Yup, that's the recipe printed on the side of the Bisquick box.  Easy-peesy.

And I had a bunch of child-labor help in the kitchen.

Hayden is really good at cutting the berries.

 I think Carly ate more than she cut, though.

I admit that cooking with my kids is painful.  They touch everything.  And put things in their mouth.  And play in the dishwater.  And argue.  And it makes a mess.  And things that should take 10 minutes take 40 because I have so much" help".

But they really love it.  And we do have fun.  And it (eventually) gets the job done.

And most of the time, my little Foodies-in-Training and I turn out some pretty good eats.

But I'd say that their favorite part of it is eating what they have made with they made with their own little hands. Look at this:

Too busy eating to even give me a smile for the camera.  :-)

Sisters

I knew that my kids would fight and argue.

I guess that I didn't now that they would do it so much.  Or so young.

Ever since Carly was old enough to sit up or scoot around, she has been doing what all little siblings are so great at - bugging her sister. 

She thrives on being annoying to Hayden.  Getting into her stuff, invading her space, tagging along and "ruining" everything. 

And she does it all with this impish little grin and a devil-may-care attitude.

 

Which drives her sister CRAZY.

Hayden isn't totally innocent in this, believe me.  Hayden is  VERY bossy in possession of excellent leadership skills and doesn't want Carly to do anything that hasn't first been run by her.  Ever.  And she doesn't want Carly to have ideas, thoughts, or opinions on any of the plans that she is making for the both of them.

 

 

It is a dang good thing that they are cute, because the fighting would drive anyone who hadn't given birth to them screaming out the front door never to be heard from again.  

But it seems that here in the last few weeks we have come to a bit of a transition period.

While there is still a lot of fighting going on (and truthfully, there probably always will be) there is also much much more of this:

 

And this:

I over hear them playing and giggling and I just melt into a big old pile of mom-goo.  They LOVE to play outside together - riding Strider bikes, digging in the dirt, exploring the world around them.  They dance and sing and put on show after show after show.  They entertain each other for hours now. 

 

 

 Admittedly, they fight and argue even while they are having fun, but it is finally starting to feel like they are really friends sometimes. 

 Watching my girls develop a relationship, however rocky it is at times, has been my single greatest joy in motherhood.  Sisterhood is a funny thing - they may fight and carry on, the sister love is strong. They have a bond that only they will ever fully understand.  They are going to hold the moments that they are having together as little girls in their hearts forever. 

 

 

They are discovering the world together - one leaf, one twig, on bike ride, one princess show, one shared snack, even one disagreement at a time. 

 

And I am the luckiest mama ever, because I get to watch them do it.

My kids were bugging me today.

Is that a messed up thing to say?  Out loud I mean?  Seriously, kids are annoying.  Everyone's kids bug them.  Especially those of us who have the privilege of staying home with them 24/7.  Why doesn't anyone just tell the truth? I mean seriously, your kids bug me, so I know they are bugging you.

So here I am, owning it - my kids were bugging me.

I have a little bit of a cold or allergies or something, so my ears are plugged up.  I can't hear.  Which you might think would be a blessing on a day when my kids are bugging me.  But, nope.  For some reason, I was only able to hear the most annoying sounds and tones coming from everything around me, especially my kids. Like nails on a chalkboard It was driving me batty!!

I finally broke down and took my kids to Wal-Mart and bought myself some Sudafed.

You see, it has been FOUR YEARS since I was able to take anything for a cold or allergies - I have been either pregnant or nursing a baby (or for a brief period, both) for FOUR YEARS.  But my nursling is a weaner now, as of last week.  At 19 months old, she is officially weaned and I am not anyone's lunch-wagon.  So I took a decongestant, and (unlike last year at this time when I literally suffered through plugged ears for three weeksor more) the relief was instant.  That Sudafed is some good shit, lemme tell you.

Anyway, after I got my hearing back around 4:30pm, I realized that the weather was absolutely perfect outside.  And after I had been so annoyed my the sounds of my kids all day, I felt like they needed something fun to do.

Enter: A CAN OF SHAVING CREAM AND A PLASTIC PRINCESS TABLE CLOTH I HOARDED SAVED FROM HOOTIE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY IN JANUARY

They weren't quite sure at first.



But the warmed up to the idea.

And then they had a BLAST.

It was good, cheap fun. 

Tilly was seriously wondering what the heck we were up to, though.

But it kept them busy for an hour and a half. 

Long enough for me to do this:





Somehow, my kids are bugging me less and less by the second.

Go figure.

;-)