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Thursday, May 26, 2011

"What would Lady Gaga wear during pregnancy?" for $500, Alex.

Yesterday I went to Carson to see my doctor for my regular monthly appointment.

I explained to him that I was having a ton of pain in my pelvis that I never had last time.  Rolling over in bed, lifting my legs to get dressed, (especially) hoisting myself in and out of my truck are all excruciating.  It honestly feels like my crotch could fall off.  Is that possible? Probably not, but it sure as heck feels like it might be.

After asking all of the obligatory questions, he tells me what I expected - there isn't much that can be done for me, that having had a kid already my body is different than it was last time, my bones and ligaments are separating and blah blah blah.  Great. 

I had done a little bit of research and pretty much knew this already, so I guess it wasn't a huge surprise, but still - just what I didn't want to hear.

Then, as if he is mentioning some wonderful miracle, he recommends that I go home and Google a Prenatal Cradle, which is a thingy you wear that will  hold your belly up and take the pressure off of your pelvic girdle. 

I felt like I had seen a holy light!

I rush home and settle in to search out my life saving Prenatal Cradle.

And then, I nearly DIE when I see this picture:



WHAT.THE.FUNYUN.IS.THIS.SHIZZ?!?!

This is the contraption that is supposed to save me from my pain?  This thing has a friggin' COD PIECE, amongst other obvious issues.  Wow.

I began to wonder if i was just being a jerk about how ridiculous this thing looks, so I post on Facebook that this is what I discovered, which results in these comments:

  • "Lol! Are you going bungy jumping!?!"
  • It's like a baby bjorn before birth."
  • "Omg that's hilarious! Nice cod piece."
  • "There are at least 21 people who bought that torture device!"
  • "Maybe it can be used for something after baby is born....hmmmm... looks swing like.."
  • "Only 3 left but u do have the option to purchase a USED one! A little cheaper..."
  • "I'm not sure what is making me laugh more. The torture device or this conversation. I'm laughing so hard it hurts!"
And that is just a sampling...  so I am not alone - this thing is nuts. 

Maybe I will order it and wear it to a Lady Gaga concert or something. All that is missing is some bedazzling. :-/

In other news, my doctor says that everything is still perfect and that this has been "a rather unremarkable pregnancy."  Oddly, that is just the kind of pregnancy I was looking for. LOL Embarrassingly, I was chided by Dr. Chacon for a big jump in my weight in th past four weeks...  I have apparently been power eating, because I gained a whopping 11 pounds this month.  Wow. Embarrassing.  He swears it is no big deal, that i am "right on track at 20 pounds so far" and that I shouldn't get too worked up, that I just need to "be aware". 

Okaaaaaay - to be honest, all I heard was, "Have a little self control, chubby." LOL Garrett swears that isn't what he said. LOL

According to my calculations, there are only 98 days until my due date.  It seemed like I was pregnant for a decade when I was pregnant with Hootie - this time it is flying by.  Baby Carly will be taking her place in the family before I know it... 

26 weeks down, 14 to  go.

Holy crap - I still have so much to do...  I had better go get started on bedazzling my Prenatal Cradle. :)

1 comment:

  1. Love this I actually had to wear this lovely thing ( due to falling in a dog hole at 7 months pregnant) It was not fun...ie to put on, wear, wash, you name it I hated it.

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